First Match: Val Venis vs. D-Lo Brown for the European Title

Val does his thing. Great. D-Lo Brown is living in Helsinki, Finland?!?!?! OK.......JR said he resided in Lisbon before......oh I get it!!! He's the European Champion, so he should maybe visit sometime!!! Yeah, whatever. They talk about D-Lo's reinforced chest protector......ooooh the odds are stacked against the Big Valbowski! I smell a title change. Val takes control early in this quick-paced matchup. You know, D-Lo's really underrated when it comes to wrestling, he just needs to improve his mic/crowd skills and he'll be as big as The Rock one day........anyway back to the match, D-Lo turns the tide and begins to open up on Venis. A couple near-falls by the defendant gets the crowd behind Val, ooh nice submission move! D-Lo did this Texas Cloverleaf/Boston Crab type move, nice!!! A miss with the Senton Splash gave Val an opportunity, which he took and began taking it to Brown. A mistake by Val which Brown turned into a Tiger Bomb from the top rope (I think D-Lo calls it the Sky High when he does it on the mat). I'm starting to see gold in Double V's future, he's a real resiliant guy! Val went for the Money Shot but D-Lo got the knees up to counter it and gain the advantage. Nice running powerbomb! Brown missed the 'Lo Down, and the fatigue is setting in now.....off comes the chest protector!!! Val's putting it on!!!!! What the? The ref decked Val! Oh come on! What the hell was that?!?!? D-Lo wins by DQ cause Val lost his temper and threw the ref. Val got pissed and gave him the Money Shot too! Hmm....is this a further face push or a heel turn??? Much more interesting..........good match though.

Winner: D-Lo Brown by Disqualification

Oh, what's Mankind whining about now? Oh.....Mankind was in the hearse? Interesting......oh great here comes Insane Clown Posse! I'm not a rap fan myself but whatever honks your horn.

Second Match: The Oddities (Kurrgan, Golga and Giant Silva) w/ Luna vs. Kaientai (Togo, Funaki, Taka & Teioh) w/ Yamaguchi San: Handicap Match

Talk about your classic mismatch......three guys who average almost 7 feet versus four guys who added together don't reach 7 feet....heh heh.....anyway...a side note, my prediction for Sable's mystery partner: LUNA! That's right.....if they're still gonna go with the Sable/Oddities alliance then it works well.....if not, um...Edge. Just PLEASE get someone good! The WWF's strong point is NOT mystery partners.......George the Animal Steele? Jerry Lawler? *shudder* Ok, back to the match, lots of double & triple teaming by KDX on the Odd Ones, good idea......man that Giant Silva! They get him to WCW Giant status....I hear superstar music.......more ganging up by Kaientai...whoa quadruple clothesline!!!! HELLO!!! I thought a triple dropkick was good but man! That was sweet! When Silva's in there with Kaientai it's like he's in Smurfville.......Luna interferes and Silva delivers the chokesla m to all 4 men (!!!!) for the win. The Oddities and ICP celebrate in the ring.

Winner: The Oddities by Pinfall

Dok Hendrix talks to HBK backstage. They show a Summerslam bus. Whoopee.

Third Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Southern Justice) vs. X-Pac in a Hair vs. Hair Match

Well, I don't know about this new gimmick of JJ's. It's sure better then the country music star........ooh they're sending SJ back to the...wait....Fink's with DX!!! Cool!!! In case you don't know JJ and the former Hillbillies shaved Howard Finkel's head on Sunday Night Heat earlier in the night. Heh heh, he said beeyotch! Anyway..... this is gonna be a great match. JJ starts on X-Pac early, but X-Pac turns the tides quickly. Jarrett takes the former Syxx outside and lays him out, X-Pac nearly got counted out.....the match goes back and forth.......hey now isn't this better than Fall Drawl? Fall Asleep? Bore Games? I think so......two great young athletes performing to their optimum level.....sorry I'm speaking Swahili to Easy E now......anyway too many great counters and counter- counters and reversals to write, so i'm just gonna wait till something match-ending happens........doo doo doo doo ......la la la la la.........uh, good spinning heel kick, yeah.......Jarrett's going for the Figure Four and he's got it! Hmmmm......cue the Fink run-in.......c'mon.....oh X-Pac just countered it, oh well. X-Pac takes control with the ride- em-cowboy thing in the turnbuckles...sorry but that's pretty gay-looking. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) The Fink distracts the ref while X-Pac tries to cover JJ but Southern Justice interferes, Dennis Knight missed X-Pac with the hit and nailed Double J.......X-Pac makes the cover! Oh cool! Here come the Outlaws! And Droz! And the Headbangers!!! Oh yeah here we go!!!! The cuttin' is goin down, baby!!! Fink joins in as everybody celebrates the victory over the now lock-less Double J.

Winner: X-Pac by Pinfall

We take a look at the Lion's Den Match, and the 9 foot pit-cage thing....ooh looks good considering they didn't get UFC's blessing for the Octagon, dah well. Cole interviews The Rock, who chop-blocked HHH on Heat and is pretty damn happy about it. Heh heh, i like that, "Back to the jabrones at ringside!" Funny......

Fourth Match: Sable & ??? vs. Marc Mero & Jacqueline in a Mixed Tag Match

Awww.....it's not gonna be Luna, no Oddities....well good I guess. Well who's it gonna be??? Oh, please not just Sable versus both of them, that would really suck! Oh, did I call it or what????? It's Edge, baby!!!! Who's the man???? Anyway, you could've probably guessed it too, but I doubt it! It begins with Edge vs. Mero, no surprise there. Oh Sable almost got Jacky!!! Oh well, lotsa time! Edge is really looking good......lots of nice moves and counter-moves. Sable just nailed Mero!!! Oh baby! Sable almost got the Sablebomb on Marc but Jacky stopped it. Sable with the TKO!!! Oh yeah!!!! Mero and Jacky double team Sable...until a mix-up and Edge is tagged in and suicide dives Mero!!!! Nice with a capital N! Edge is in control over the Marvelous One with a neckbreaker off the top. Mero went to the top but got his bell rung.....and then Sable did a Sablecarana from the top!!!! KICK-ASS!!!! Big pop for Sable.......then Jacky accidently low blowed Mero, the Downward Spiral, the win. Good match, nice performance by Sable and Edge. Quote of the Night: (so far) from Jr after the Sablecarana: "Man , how many men would pay to be in Mero's place?" This is funny stuff, folks.

Winners: Sable and Edge by Pinfall

They show the Home Shopping Network stuff....boring. Undertaker makes one last threat before the big match. Mankind is confused about the tag match.....well duh! Go play in traffic....oh he said he wanted to! Uh....psycho.... Hey McMahon go away! Leave the poor deranged guy alone!!! he's convincing Mankind to go it alone! No Holds Barred and Falls Count Anywhere?!?!? They take a look at the buildup to the Lion's Den Match.

Fifth Match: Owen Hart (w/ Dan Severn) vs. Ken Shamrock in a Lion's Den Match

What can I say......this is gonna be a good one. A typical Owen/Shamrock match......with a UFC twist, however. Hey, isn't a Lion's Den supposed to be square or something? Haven't seen any round lion's dens....oh well who cares? Both men used the really painful aluminum foil (i mean, chain-link) fence to their advantage.......c'mon can you really get that hurt from the cage? When you get thrown into it you almost rip a hole in it.....if the Taker can stomp through it in like 10 seconds, it can't be that resistant. Both these guys are giving it their all.......Severn is trying to get into the cage but the ref is holding him back...... Owen gets that choke-hold move on Shamrock but Shamrock reverses it into the ankle-lock..........Severn just threw in the towel as Shamrock gets Owen to tap out.

Winner: Shamrock by Submission

Austin gets his last threats in before the title match......man I hate that Cole puke....i could do interviews better.... heck so could my grandma!!!

Seventh Match: Mankind vs. The New Age Outlaws for the WWF Tag Team Titles, No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere

Looks like Mr. Foley is gonna go solo....man people really do pay to see him get his ass kicked, McMahon knows how to sell it and always has, more power to him........well it SHOULD be no contest but for some reason I think it's gonna be a good match, any indications why? Well, it's Mick Foley, 'nuff said. The Outlaws commence the ass-whoopin' but they keep it somewhat clean by making it one on one to start.....another good line by JR to King: "Do your lips ever get chapped from all that butt-kissing you do?" He's the king of em, folks. After some feeble attempts by Mankind, The Outlaws deliver the spiked piledriver for the pin. They celebrate in a way only DX can by dumping Foley in the trash. Kane does appear though, just to beat Mankind up some more with the sledgehammer. JR does his usual spazzo whenever anyone gets really beat up, what'd you expect?

Winners: New Age Outlaws by Pinfall

Eighth Match: The Rock (w/ Mark Henry vs. HHH (w/ Chyna)for the Intercontinental Title Match, Ladder Match

After the mandatory review of the feud, which is probably gonna end tonight or take a huge twist, there's only one thing to say: this oughta be frickin' amazing! Cool side note, the DX band came out live to the ring to play a remix of the DX theme song while HHH came out. This is really shaping up to be a classic, two of the best wrestlers in WWF history...ooh they mentioned HBK vs. Razor Ramon in that ladder match at WM10! Oooh....... there's something I haven't heard in a while....mentioning the Bad Guy! Anyway, back to da match......these guys are ready to get it on. Hey, they're gonna bring the ladder INTO the ring when it's needed? That's pretty dumb.......you gotta have it in there at all times! It's OK, I predict it'll get in there soon enough.......folks, this match is already a good one, it's so good I can't type it, you gotta see it live! I know I sounds like Dok Hendrix, but in all honesty it's hard to write about it well enough to do the match justice....but i'll try.....The Rock makes the first attempt at climbing the ladder, but HHH easily thwarts the early attempt.....there we go, the ladder's in!!! It's gonna get real good now!!! HA! Another good line: Lawler talks about Rocky like McGwire with the ladder but JR chimes in, "Why don't we ever talk about Sammy Sosa???" His plea is valid: Sosa did catch McGwire, they both got 54 homers.......anyway back to the match, Rocky works on Helmsley's knee while the crowd works on The Rock......Maivia goes to get a chair and slams HHH's knee, which is trapped in the ladder. The Rock continues to lay the smack down on HHH's knee......Rocky goes up on the ladder, which is now very unstable and dented, but HHH knocks him down. The Rock slingshots HHH into the ladder, he's really givin' it to him now. God, I wish I could draw you a picture, man. This is a classic. Helmsley tries the Pedigree but says hello to Senor Ladder by way of a backdrop. Hey, Mr. Henry just threw in another ladder, this is new!!!! I like this!!! Chyna stops Henry from holding back HHH while The Rock goes for the belt, and was inches away from grabbing the title when HHH knocked him off. Oh baby, two ladders, I love it! HHH baseball slides into the ladder, which meets Rocky right in the skull. Something's gotta give now. HHH goes up and is almost there, as close as Maivia was before, but The Rock stops him. A DDT from the Rock lays out both men. Both men are up on the ladders and Helmsley gets knocked off his ladder, which goes into the other ladder and knocks off The Rock. HHH starts giving Maivia some vicious ladder shots as the fans get behind him. The Rock rebounds with a People's Elbow and begins the ascent up the ladder, he gets knocked off, but then, the Rock Bottom!!! It's over, right? Right? Wrong!!! Somehow Helmsley gets up and delivers the Pedigree, but Mark Henry throws powder into HHH's eyes! Oh man! HHH goes up but can't find the belt cause he's blinded, then Chyna comes in and low blows The Rock just before he reaches the belt, as HHH finally finds the belt and wins the match! Finally, The Rock's reign is over.......we got a new champine!!! DX comes out to celebrate the sweet victory.....what an amazing match! Great effort from both guys, you will not see this ANYWHERE else, and certainly not in Dubeeyuh-See-Dubbeyuh!

Winner: HHH

They show a preview for Breakdown: In Your House in Hamilton, Ontario! Just an hour from my house! You'd think I'd get it free, fat chance.

Ninth Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker for the WWF Heavyweight Title

Nice entrance from the Undertaker.....I simply love his new theme music, they also mentioned him beating Hogan and Sid for his two title victories. Good pop for a man who deserves it, he doesn't deserve any boos for what he's accomplished. Of course an enormous pop for Austin, wonder what's gonna happen to him after this match, win or loss......well you want my prediction? I gotta side with the Taker cause he is DA MAN (screw Goldberg, screw the Warrior, screw anyone else!) but who knows? Here's my official prediction, you can quote me if you want: Austin will win if Kane comes out and turns on his bro, any other way Taker wins. The Reaper gets it going first but the Rattlesnake strikes back. Taker with a quick cover, sorry but I don't think so. The Undertaker starts to pick Austin apart, methodically taking him down, concentrating on the champ's back. Austin rebounds and works on the Taker's knee, both guys go back and forth with Austin trying to chop down the mighty redwood that is the Undertaker. Kane comes out but his bro tells him to go to the back, which he does. Ok, that was pointless......oh a big chokeslam from the Taker! I wonder if that little thing before was a prelude of things to come, or the seed for Kane's doublecross! We'll have to wait and see.......UT takes Austin to the outside and through the crowd! Now there's a thrill.......only in MSG baby!!! They fight back towards the ring, and Austin gets backdropped on the floor. Austin is having some trouble getting up, but the T aker beats him down some more, so what's the point of getting up? Taker catches Austin in midair and rams him into the ringpost, ouch! Dat's gotta hurt! Austin doesn't quit though, he keeps on going, but Taker keeps on throwing him around. Then UT does something even more amazing: a legdrop from the top to the outside where Austin is helpless over a table. Taker brings him in to cover Austin but he kicks out! Amazing! UT continues the whoopin, I think it's only a matter of time before we gots ourselves a new champ. This guy is like T-1000!!! Die already! Sorry, I'm a big Taker fan if you haven't noticed, maybe the name gave you that idea: Endbringer? Undertaker? Think about it. Austin with the Lou Thesz Press and introduced him to his fist over, and over, and over again. Austin tried the Stunner but missed and Taker hit the chokeslam. Taker signals the end but Austin gets up and keeps the match goin. He hits a low blow and then Stuns him for the pin!!!!! What?!?!?!?! Noooooooooo!!!!!! Wait, Undertaker gets up and has the belt.......what's he gonna do? He just gives it to him....now that's a true champion! That was an awesome title match......for Austin the reign continues, for the Undertaker the wait continues.........

Winner: Austin by Pinfall

Well, that's Summerslam! Since I did this during the PPV, I'll be back tomorrow with a review of how well the PPV fared.....no RAW this week thanks to the US Open, so I'll be back some time this week with my third issue of Endbringer's Thoughts.......see y'all later!!!

Endbringer

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